Saturday, April 12, 2008

How (27-Mar 27-1986)

I wrote this in college when I was falling harder for a woman than I though I should. It is intersting to read the journal entries and find that she had the same affect on me that my lost love had.

How

How,
Lord,
Can I know her so well
When I barely
Know her at all?
It doesn't make sense.
Her face seems
So familiar.
Her memories
Are mine.
This can't possibly
Be happening.
How?
Why?
How can I admit
What I'm feeling?
The time
Has been too short;
The knowledge
Too little.
Why are my
Emotions
Forcing me to
Say what I
Fear most?
What will she think?
How will she react?
It's all too sudden
Slow it down.
Please!
No!!
I musn't let
It
Come out
Or I'm lost
And the control
Is no longer mine.
But I
Just
Can't
Keep
It
Corked.
"Admit It!!!"
The voice is screaming with violent rage
inside of me.
The struggle is
Unbelievable.
I feel as though
I can
Contain it
No longer.
No
Please
No.
The struggle was lengthy.
The pause was long
But for now
I have won.
(But it still wants out.)

1 comment:

paisley said...

i belive the preface to this poem answers so amny of the questions you continue to ask yourself about this most recent relationship... look at how much of it is you,, as compared to how much of it is real....