Saturday, February 23, 2008

Walk With Me (23-Feb-2008)

At the request of Michelle Johnson of Poefusion, I have made an attempt at a Paradelle. This was tough and took the better part of two hours to work out.

Part of my problem was that I wanted to tell a story. As with everything I write lately, the focus is my recent relationship. I chose a specific event, full of hope, that occurred at its beginning but wanted to weave in foreshadowing of its untimely demise. At the end, I wanted a plea that what could have come to pass may yet still.

As always, be kind, as this is the most difficult form I have ever attempted and I found it quite constraining. If you do find a problem with the construction, let me know and I will try to fix it.

Walk With Me

There are paths we should not tread.
There are paths we should not tread.
Moon light pours down as lead.
Moon light pours down as lead.
Paths pours not light as down,
We are lead there moon should tread.

Turn and kiss, my darling.
Turn and kiss, my darling.
Our bier and onions linger here.
Our bier and onions linger here.
Here turn onions and kiss,
Our bier and my darling linger.

Enormous lawn stretches forth.
Enormous lawn stretches forth.
Stand we silent at the tree.
Stand we silent at the tree.
Tree stretches, silent the lawn,
We stand forth at enormous.

Tree stand and moon linger,
Enormous bier stretches forth;
Here at kiss, there as light,
The lawn pours silent onions.
We tread and are lead.
Should we not turn down our paths, my darling?


paisley said...

this is a damn hard form... i am glad to find that you know my poem my destiny was written in this form,, as i feel it is limiting...

you did a great job... you read my one and only attempt... but that is not to say i won't try again.....

Michelle Johnson said...

Wow! I am impressed. You've done a great job with this form and have succeeded in making me want to try this form again. Just not soon as I know how hard it is. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day.

Pam said...

Very interesting form-- what is it called?

I enjoyed how the phrases came together in different forms.

Thanks for visiting my blog and linking to me.

The Phantom said...

It's called a Paradelle and was invented by a Poet Laureate as a joke. It was still fun to work out though.